Life goes on? How would you react?

Some news has changed life the way it once was and the way it will be.

Firstly, my sister’s bf left her due to distance. He works in Japan, she studies in Adelaide. Sad thou, he was a nice chap, younger thou but yet great to sit and chill with. But life goes on and I know God has greater plans for my sister. She will be kept in my prayers.

Mum was diagnosed with arthritis. Sad but true. The woman who cared for me and yet she refused to take care of herself, eating junk food, not remembering to consume her medications and simply not exercising. Her tummy got bigger and her bones had gotten brittle. She beats the mule hands down because no matter what we tell her, she would not choose to listen. Choices indeed make you who you are. She has diabetes, hypertension and now arthritis to add to the list. She started to limp a little a few weeks ago and her right knee became quite swollen. I applied RICE therapy on her but she chose TCM over what I did. The swelling eventually subsided but the pain didn’t. She claims that she had fallen on her right knee often and so this was the result of all that constant bumping.

All I can really do is to tell her what to eat and encourage her to exercise. The rest really is up to her because she may control her diet well when im around, but I can’t be there 24hrs a day to ensure she consumes proper food and take her medications.

Unlike her, dad knows how to eat better. Thou he has strayed a little, otter than that, he knows how to control his diet and such, like mum, he has the similar medical history except that he did undergo a triple bypass a few years ago. Somehow, only I knew that he be okay. The rest were quite frantic and all. Perhaps I have come across quite a number of similar cases that I know? Perhaps.

The truth remains that seeing your loved one pass on hurts the human heart and emotions take over. Looking at the families and relatives in my current setting forces me to ponder what would happen to my family if and when such situations arise. How would we react and how would we take it?

I can only pray and ask God to be kind and forgiving.

Hope everyone else is okay.

God bless.

Self updates

This week has been a long long one and yes I know it’s not the weekend yet but hey, nurses schedules are pretty much hay wired and we work so much that we don’t even know it’s the weekend already.

I’m pulling my hair already because I failed to do what I set out to do in the beginning. Study.

All that procrastination bout yadafadabananajinglehoodlumdoodledobut still I only managed to write notes about the first chapter and still have a hard time understanding it. Gosh I’m not smart or am I just purely lazy. Perhaps both. I can only blame myself for not being disciplined enough to get things done, putting them into perspective. I have dunked my head into law and ethics so much so that research has been neglected. There is a test in September and I totally forgot about it. See!!! Damn! I must work it out!

If you have any tips, feel free to let me know. I understand mind mapping would help. But wordy stuff like law and such can we really draw pictures? Experienced people please share your studying methods.

I realiZe that I study better at night. Or that I’m more awake at night. But all I have is my bed. I don’t have a study table or anything else. In the end, I fall asleep halfway into my studies. This has to change! I cannot be that lazy asshole anymore !!

Apart from that, I just got my new toy, a hybrid. Took it for a ride yesterday evening and it felt nice. I guess apart from cycling, I need to study too! No more Internet at home!

Gosh as I’m typing away in the mrt, there is this guy banging his head against the window of the train. Scolding vulgarities and talking to I dunno who. Perhaps he might end up in stomp? I duno, it’s not my business and I shall not butt in.

So please help me! I really need all the help I can get.

God bless.

Catching up with my L4D2 buddies

The last time I met them, I was terribly upset and disappointed. Firstly, my computer had given me problems. 10-15minutes and I have yet to enter the game. Where as my 2 brothers have already gone in. So I had to change computers. Later on, I felt left behind by them. I didn’t enjoy the game.

This time, I met them both on separate occasions. J met me during one of my off days and we went for a ‘killing spree’ 2 times that day. It felt much better because we had to rely on each other, and the AIs were good generally but at the end of the day, you’d prefer a friend who is looking after your back. I’d want that, without a doubt.

Playing with V was quite last minute because he has to study and work at the same time and indeed it is no easy peasy task. Thank God for him, school
Is about to end and he can focus on his work. Playing with V, felt different. We had quite a few down moments but we could talk and get by each and every horde at the end of the day. Other than that one moment at the airport where hordes would come non stop. He survived that, I didn’t.

Both have different styles of playing. J would be more gung Ho and melee his way through. V would wait with you and seek permission before going through. I appreciate both playing styles because I am a bit of both of them myself. I love to chiong and slice my way through. On the other hand, I
Love the team work displayed when we become ‘untouchable’.

Perhaps we played different difficulty levels as well. But at the end of it all, I dare say I enjoyed the spree with both of them very much so.

Now all I need, is one more buddy to make it all 4 of us. Guess I’ll have to wait.

Did God speak to me?

Recently, just about 2 days ago, I was asked to watch this video on YouTube. It was about a young girl who had died for 23 hours. During this time, God brought her to hell and then to heaven. Perhaps I could say that He wanted her to be His messenger? Hmm. What she said really woke me up.

It is a fact that I am born into a Christian family. It is also true that I have accepted Christ into my life and that God sent His son to die for me. But to be honest, I have very much fallen short of His glory. Fallen further indeed I have gone into the wilderness and have lost my way. I have no one to blame but myself because I chose that path. No doubt the human flesh is sinful, but the human mind has fallen into temptation as well, I constantly seek forgiveness because I feel guilty.

It is a constant struggle because the devil knows my weakness and he intentionally disturbs me there. Making me feel guilty and therefore staying away from God.

But this time, I felt it was a wake up call from Him. Indeed time is running out and yes I really look forward to His second coming. I felt a tug to go back to Him and yes I decided to go back to His word, the Bible. I decided to filter out all other things and focus only on His word and anything that praises Him and Him alone.

I felt it was time to get back to reading His word, the Bible. In that instant, I felt a thought go through my mind. Telling myself how boring the Bible was and how hard it was to read and understand, I then knew that the devil was trying to pull me away. I refused. And so I made my way toward the only bookshop that I knew had good resources, Techman.

As I entered the doors, I heard Christian music and saw loads of books! I realized that they have changed their layout a little. They now have a little sale corner. I saw some books which were on sale and even
Bibles on sale as well. Again another thought entered my mind, so many books, which one to get? Why not just forget it. I spent a good 2 hours plus just looking around for a book or something that I felt would speak to me. There were so many topics to choose from, from Christian living to family to self help and such. Books from famous authors from CS Lewis to John piper to Joyce Meyer to Joel osteen and more.

After close to 3 hours, I stopped to ask myself, what would I want to improve in my walk with Him? Then the Bible came to mind. I agreed, it is indeed His word but something I had been pushing away all the time. I found this book named Living by the book, by Howard Hendricks. As I browsed through it’s content, I felt that it was quite easy for me to grasp of which one page stood out, how to choose a Bible for studying His word. That had to be it.

Reading this book so far has indeed opened my eyes to His word, there are many people who have commented that this book would make you think and look deeper into His word. Teaching you how to read the Bible and how to take a step further into better understanding of what He means in each verse in each of the 66 books.

Okay, I must thank you kind reader who has read all the way till now, because my heading story only begins now lol.

Last night when I was on my way home, I managed to get a seat and I had already taken out this book from my bag to read when I was standing up. Suddenly, a lady beside me asked me what I was reading. As I showed her the cover, she smiled and said that it was good to be reading His word. She said that it was like a good feeling to know that I chose to learn more about Him as compared to a person who chose to play his game or iPhone. Later, I wondered if it was God who spoke to me through her. It takes courage to speak to a stranger. Try it, I know how hard it was.

Once in church, I felt a tugging to pray for a guy in front of me. It really felt so strong that I could not let it go. As service was about to end, I tapped him on the shoulder and asked if I could pray for him. For all who know me, would know that this is not my normal practice. I don’t go around tapping shoulders asking or telling people that I felt a need to pray for him or her. But that one was a strong one. I just could not let it pass. I believe he was shocked as well. I’m not a prayer warrior of any sort and my prayers are very simple and straight to the point. But it happened, I prayed and I guess God blessed him.

So did God really speak to me? I would assume so. Perhaps another sign from Him would affirm that He did? Now I see things in a different light. Hoping I can do my utmost to glorify Him and praying that He open doors for me to further grow His kingdom.

Peace and God bless. shalom.